Stigma and Self-Stigma: Taking control of our recovery by Nash

Everybody talks about stigma, but what is it and how does it affect our wellbeing?

Defined as a strong feeling of disapproval that most people in a society have about something or a mark of disgrace or shame in society, stigma perpetuates discrimination, alienation and isolation, and exclusion for many, from their communities. For individuals who experience stigma from society, particularly those who have mental health difficulties or who have been to prison, recovery and rehabilitation can face disadvantages and life in the community can be presented with increased challenges.

But did you know that we can also stigmatize our self? It’s called self-stigma. That’s when we tell ourselves that we can’t do things because we have, for example, a mental illness or a criminal record, and we behave in ways that put ourselves at a disadvantage, like isolating ourselves, or not applying for jobs. Of course, we might do some of these things because of the nature of our mental illness, or because we have lost our self-confidence, our self-esteem or our sense of self-worth, but it’s worth mentioning that sometimes we can hold ourselves back and that society is not always to blame.

In the early days of my recovery, I constantly felt ashamed. I had very low self-esteem, felt rejected and not wanted, constantly angry and did not trust anybody; these were my thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, society’s perceptions and attitudes back then were not helpful either, but I could not change that. However, through meaningful engagement, therapies and courses, I started to look into myself and to understand how to deal with my feelings around this stigma, and how to break away from my own negative thoughts.

This was the light bulb moment when I came to realize that regardless of society’s attitudes towards mental health, it was my own self-stigma that was preventing me from feeling good about myself.

I was blaming others when I should have taken more responsibility for the things that I was doing, and for the things that I wasn’t doing. I started to take more control over my own life instead of leaving it to others. If I was turned down for a job, I asked for feedback and the reasons why I didn’t get it. I soon realized that I was not the only one that was turned down for the same job and that it was because I was less experienced than someone else or because I lacked certain skills – it wasn’t because of my mental illness. So I started to take courses to improve my skills toolkit, did some voluntary counselling work to gain experience and confidence. It’s a competitive world and you have to prepare yourself so that you’re better than the next man, or woman.

This journey of acceptance was a bitter pill to swallow, understanding what my mental health challenges were taking a lot of resistance; however, being able to take baby steps, and honestly opening up to feedback from peers and my support team was one of the best things that helped me believe in myself and understand the views of society. Education played a big part in this journey. It allowed me to accept that everyone has a right to their own thoughts and opinions and not allowing these to affect the way I feel. Workshops like effective communication skills, assertiveness and self-esteem, boundaries training and a few more similar workshops helped me to develop my skills a lot more. I was able to work alongside the staff and my peers, feeling appreciated. At this stage of my journey I was beginning to feel less angry, not feeling rejected by society, and gradually I started feeling a sense of belonging, seeing myself as part of them.

My confidence and self-esteem started to grow, and I naturally began to relate to others in a more positive, genuine way, which made people relate to me in a positive way too. I have learnt a lot in this process, and I am still learning

Any questions ?

Stigma and Self-Stigma: Taking control of our recovery by Nash

Everybody talks about stigma, but what is it and how does it affect our wellbeing?

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